Pleasure and Pussy in a Pandemic
So here we are — almost 7 months into a pandemic no one could have predicted with no end in sight. I want to talk about pleasure and pussy… specifically, how to get more when so many are getting less and less. Let’s start at the beginning… because starting anywhere else is just plain dumb. I’d like to paint a picture if I may.
After months of sheltering at home or working virtually, there has been a shift of monumental proportions. We have seen the decline of fancy clothing, a growing disregard for personal hygiene, an uptick in pajama sales, and a downtick in razors sales. I imagine a shiny, silky, smooth pussy may possibly be a thing of the past. New trends are afoot and we need to find ways to stay ahead of them.
The Roaring ’20s of the past — rang in an era of perky pixies, cultured clothing, flirtatious flappers, groomed gams, bootleg boozing, and riotous speakeasies. Cut to the Whimpering ’20s of the present — limping in on stubbly stumps, frumpy fashion, cantankerous couples, pandemic pj’s, bushy beavers, and libations before lunch.
We are suffering, en masse, from a perilous pandemic, election dejection, protests dividing families and friends, and an economy that can be likened to the Emperor’s New Clothes. We’re too scared to speak up and acknowledge the truth — our economy is being tanked by a megalomaniac who is parading around naked and has no idea this house of cards is going to fall — HARD.
If you’re a man, you may be somewhat dismayed that your woman has put on some pandemic pounds, stopped shaving all and sundry, eschews any scent other than Cheetos, and slouches around the house in two-day-old, holey tee shirts and jammie pants.
If you’re a woman, you may be somewhat grossed out by your man’s ability to ignore the stench wafting out of his crusty drawers, the scratchy, painful facial scruff, his donut-like love handles, and a happy trail that now looks more like an ungroomed pasture.
SO… what do we need in the midst of all this wailing, flailing, and beating of our collective chests?
Pleasure and pussy.
(That’s right… I said pussy.)
For starters, who doesn’t want pleasure? As for pussy — first of all, it’s soft, warm, and sweet — just like the silky, friendly felines it’s named for. Secondly, if you’re the proud owner of one, you want it pleasured so you can, for just a moment (or three), forget about the shit-storm that is 2020. Last, but not least, if you don’t own one, you want to find one to snuggle in for the same reason. If our homes are going to hell-in-a-handbasket then by God, grab some lube and enjoy the ride! Life is short people.
Let’s talk about how to get some pleasure and how to give some pleasure.
THERE IS HOPE!
It will require one thing… yes… only ONE!
Ready?
Okay… here it is. (You both need to be in the same room by the way.)
Sit down somewhere comfortable — a couch, bed, cushions… dog bed… whatever. Just get comfy.
Turn towards each other and…
Open your eyes and look at your partner… really LOOK. Take a few minutes to just gaze into each other’s eyes. Don’t worry if you bust out laughing… that’s good. It releases tension.
Think about how you met. Think about why you fell in love with this scruffy, stinky, hairy, ungroomed, anxious person sitting across from you. See if you can conjure up a bit of compassion for the stress your loved one has been experiencing during this insanely difficult year.
Yeah… it’s been tough, right? Can’t get dressed up to go out and have a date night on the town… grab a coffee, see a movie, or have a romantic, candlelight dinner complete with serenading violins to back up your already super-sharp, sexy game?
It sucks being stuck at home.
You may be feeling the beginnings of a vibe as you fall into your lover’s eyes. You remember that their pleasure is important to you. If you can feel this then it’s likely you have what researchers call sexual communal strength.
If you don’t feel this, don’t sweat it. (Really… stop sweating… you smell.)
I’m going to lay some science on you for a short minute.
Recent research suggests that sexual communal strength (SCS; Muise et al., 2013) — i.e., the motivation to meet a partner’s sexual needs — may buffer couples from normative declines in sexual satisfaction. Indeed, SCS predicts greater sexual desire, sexual satisfaction, and relationship satisfaction (Day et al., 2015; Muise & Impett, 2015; Muise et al., 2017)
How do we get this if we’re looking at our partner and feeling (or smelling) something a tiny bit dank? If our stress has maxed out our capacity for attaining anything other than a slow shuffle to the mailbox every day?
Let’s try an experiment. As you gaze lovingly into your partner’s eyes think of one thing you are grateful to them for… truly grateful. Sit with it and feel into it. Allow it to sink into you and permeate your body.
What does that gratitude FEEL like?
How do they look to you now?
Gratitude works wonders in any situation, on anyone willing to engage in it. Gratitude functions to remind you of your partner’s value and subsequently increases the motivation to maintain your relationship.
Bam! Science baby!
Maintaining means getting your lazy asses into the shower and scrub, shave, and buff each other to a shine. Get moving! Stress will always be lurking somewhere but the opportunity to enjoy some pleasure and pussy isn’t guaranteed. To get you gotta give and gratitude is the path.
Go forth and enjoy in gratitude!
#gratitude #relationshiptips #love #lifecoach #intimacycoach #pussy
