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Photo by Austin Pacheco on Unsplash

I have tons of little vignettes concerning life lessons which, on their own, do not have enough substance to justify telling a tale so I thought I’d combine them into one large story.

I’ve idly wondered from time to time how much damage I may have done when I consider some of the life lessons I’ve taught my kids over the years. I don’t know if I make more mistakes than most parents or if I’m just dumb enough to own them out loud. Let’s take a brief trip through time and visit some of the ones I think are…


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So here we are — almost 7 months into a pandemic no one could have predicted with no end in sight. I want to talk about pleasure and pussy… specifically, how to get more when so many are getting less and less. Let’s start at the beginning… because starting anywhere else is just plain dumb. I’d like to paint a picture if I may.

After months of sheltering at home or working virtually, there has been a shift of monumental proportions. We have seen the decline of fancy clothing, a growing disregard for personal hygiene, an uptick in pajama sales…


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Photo by Boudewijn Huysmans on Unsplash

I took my kids to see the movie Joker last weekend. I had seen the trailer and though it looked a bit dark it was supposed to be about the origins of the Joker and a precursor to the Batman movies. I thought, “How could we miss this?!”

After the movie, I felt like I had been visually assaulted. The sheer violence and disregard for human life, the super realistic depiction of blood, guts and gore stunned me.

I thought to myself, “Surely this movie shocked my kids too.” I was looking forward to ripping into the fucked up, horrifying…


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Photo by CloudVisual on Unsplash

3 Things You Can Do After A Fight That Will Melt Their Heart

I want to tell you a story about how three little words can create peace even after all hell has broken loose.

One evening, my sweetheart and I were surfing our computers while sitting side by side on the couch. He was preoccupied with research and I was busy writing. He casually mentioned something he was reading and I leaned over to look. Unthinkingly, he turned his computer towards me and began to scroll rapidly while giving a quick explanation. I couldn’t read fast enough and became…


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Fantasy vs. Reality

We’ve all been there…feeling randy and in the mood to share some good lovin’. Maybe you want to spice things up a bit? Dress up slutty-sexy, act out a role or tell a naughty tale? At some point most of us have shared a fantasy with our lover. Oh so often, upon hearing our super-secret, sexy, hot stories while in flagrante delicto, our lover interprets this as an invitation to make it a reality and enthusiastically begins to plan out how to make our vision come true.

Dearest lover, when we give in to our desire and…


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My bi-yearly card from my youngest sister came in the mail recently. It had a single, short, generic greeting followed by her name and that of her husband and son, whom I’ve met one time.

I finally decided to confront the yucky feelings that occur every time I get one of these cards.

Sound familiar? I’ll be it does.

Remember when we were kids? Every day had the potential for a new adventure. Bedtimes were filled with fun, flashlights, furniture forts and frolicking. …


Dear Lover, I Lost My Temper — Again,

Inner monologue goes something like this: “Holy shit! What did I just say?! I did it again… My loved one triggered something inside me and I lost my temper.”

Noooo dear lover — You didn’t LOSE it. You couldn’t lose that f****r in a Where’s Waldo cartoon if you tried.

You tomahawked it at your loved one's head — HARD. You blew up like a bomb (again) and left shrieking shrapnel all over the goddamn living room. Bits of temporal blood, guts, and gore stuck everywhere. You can’t even see your loved…

Grace Getzen

I enjoy writing about the vagaries of life with an eye toward the lighter side of things & unwrapping the secret to life. Ask me!

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